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Divorce / Separation

29/03/2021 11:44

I Consulti di Manuel

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Divorce / Separation

Divorce / Separation: discover more!

Divorce, and the end of a marriage in general, represents an important moment of change that involves the entire life plan of both spouses. This phase involves the reorganization of many aspects of their existence and everyday life: economic aspects, housing, relational network, social image.

The separation of the couple comes positively to an end when both spouses have accepted the end of the relationship and have understood the underlying causes and dynamics.

However, when marriage ends against the will of one of the two spouses, the one who suffers it lives an emotional condition comparable to mourning (Gambini, 2010), a term that indicates precisely "all those psychological processes, conscious or unconscious, that are aroused by the loss of a loved one" (Bowlby, 1983); it is therefore an experience of loss that causes deep pain.

In addition, the difficulties in exchanging information about children, without creating another opportunity for confrontation, are transformed into a real condition of incommunicability whose mediators often become the same children: in addition to the short phone call, to messages via answering machines and SMS, to email and fax sent through legal parties, the couple often resort to children, who must bring with them, when they move from the house of their mother to that of their father and vice versa, also the burden of the absence of parental communication.

However, in this condition, each of the two considers themselves to be the most suitable parent and demands that this be recognized by the judicial system through the exercise of custody.

This logic once again becomes a pretext to fuel further conflicts that in this case move within the courtroom that bring into play additional mechanisms, such as that of false complaints ("the other presents unsuitable lifestyles for a minor", "the other is negligent towards the needs of the child", etc...), in an attempt to discredit the other spouse and win the custody battle.


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